the place i call home.

i leave tomorrow and im starting to feel okay. i can't wait to just go home and relax and breathe and visit everyone who makes me feel happy and wanted no matter what. im gonna relax. get my tan on by my pool. leaving i will probably cry for the fact of its one of the last times i will sleep in my bed there or smell the smell of that house or take a shower and be worried someones gonna walk in on me because my showers clear. its gonna be the last time i sing over the intercom to make everyone laugh and the last time i scare the shit outta anyone in the basement with the house's vacum vents in the walls. it will be the last time i walk down the twirly steps and the last time i rade the cabnits to find where all the good food is hidden. its sad and upseting but its a step in life. i know i'll have a room at the flordia house... it won't be the same but im okay with that. im gonna take the time to think alot while im there as well.

i plan on coming home and taking life here in PA step by step. It's hard being here for the fact of that everything i see or hear is another memory slapped in my face but i need to get use to it and comfortable. which im gonna stick through and try my very hardest to do. im strong and i know i can get through these lame hardships that we all go through at some point and time. it sucks and this sucks and giving things up and looseing people in your life sucks. but i have to look up and tell my self things are gonna be okay. i still feel like running back but i know it would do nothing at all. but when im back im gonna get in touch with a few people and im gonna let them know what they mean to me because i feel like theres some people who don't really know how much they mean to me. i don't think i could stand loosing anyone else.