in her mind

there are stories and thoughts built up.
for 3 weeks you've stayed here confusing me and messing with my head; so it seems. i know you don't know you want but i do and "this" is killing me. i can't stand just sitting around feeling so, walked all over. regaurdless you still mean the world to me. i'm hurt and not sure what to do with my feelings, but know im trying and if im being distant it's because i don't know what else to do.
I STILL WANT YOU AROUND

having her home for 6 weeks is taking such a toll on me. we went from being mother daughter to being bestfriends to now to cats in a horrid fight at all times. I love her to pieces and i don't know where i would be with out her but i can't stand her being home. i like my privacy and i like just knowing i have a distance from her. i feel like a horrible person for wanting her to go back to work; for the state that she is in, but still.
CHANGE IS NEEDED

only 1 more month and ill be an adult; as scarey as it sounds. i'm happy but at the same time i feel like latly i've just been letting life go. Sitting inside just waiting to go to work and thats it. I might be apart of her being home and her not wanting me to leave but still. THIS is getting old. i can't wait to get out and explore the world and capture everything i see. I don't want to waste this time being young and not doing anything with it. i want to travel and see everything i possibly can. i want to meet so many new people and make friends with people who aren't like the rest. i want to experience new things.
AND I WILL.

you've recently, come into my life and i am so grateful for the fact to have met you. as random as this is and even if the timing really isn't good for the friendship that has been made and is evolving into something pretty flipping rad. There's alot to get out and so much to learn but really so little time in our lives. im not saying things won't happen just be careful what you wish for and watch every step you take for one might just be the wrong one.
YOU LEAD THE WAY.

your my other half and i love you more then anything. with out you i really don't know where i would be. you treat me good and you've taught me how to smile through the TOUGHEST times yet. its been only a few months or so since we've really met but it seems live i've known you since i was able to talk. im really hoping this doesn't end up like the rest and we stick together. your the only person i can put up with and honestly say i miss when ever im not around you.
MAKE IT HAPPEN.


this blog was just to get some thoughts about some people off my mind.