without you

i feel so numb and lost and hurt and not right and sick and

pretty much like i could die and it wouldn't matter.



being at that show tonight with the guys and ali and you not being there was horrid. being hit on. being stared at. i wanted to cry. i flipped out on someone who hit on me and had no one to tell him i was taken because im not and your not mine and its eatting me alive because ill never get what i want and you'll never even see it. your being stubern and your friends are worried and care about you and are coming to ME because your ignoreing them. what am i supposed to tell them?
i hope you read this but this is a good bye until you realize that i do love you whole heartedly and that im here when you are ready. which may be never but i can always wish right... since hope is dead and all.


well i love you.
and ps. i dont think i can even stand looking or thinking about ladybugs anymore.