are you out there?

ive come to realize that searching isn't the answer nor is forcing. my head is up to the sky with hope that soon you'll come my way and i won't be blind at that point. i feel as if there is friend or friends in my life who have feelings for me that i don't have for them and im not sure what to say other then im sorry? its hard seeing the perfect person for you right in front of your eyes the only thing thats missing is the feelings and forcing your self would be a lie, and thats the last thing i want to do. theres so much potential in so many people surrounding me i think im just scared not terrified but scared from the past; it might be holding me back but i really don't want to commit to something until i get the butterflys when your name comes up in conversation or i see something that reminds me of you. maybe i'm living a fairy tale dream but being alone till i find that fairy tale is what ive decided to do. im happy where i am and the way things are and until im not this is the way i will go about living.



:] smile.