ive come to realize that searching isn't the answer nor is forcing. my head is up to the sky with hope that soon you'll come my way and i won't be blind at that point. i feel as if there is friend or friends in my life who have feelings for me that i don't have for them and im not sure what to say other then im sorry? its hard seeing the perfect person for you right in front of your eyes the only thing thats missing is the feelings and forcing your self would be a lie, and thats the last thing i want to do. theres so much potential in so many people surrounding me i think im just scared not terrified but scared from the past; it might be holding me back but i really don't want to commit to something until i get the butterflys when your name comes up in conversation or i see something that reminds me of you. maybe i'm living a fairy tale dream but being alone till i find that fairy tale is what ive decided to do. im happy where i am and the way things are and until im not this is the way i will go about living.
:] smile.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
i have a new life.
So as some of you may or may not know, i moved out. I live in a house with two people. It's pretty amazing. Being a "grownup" pretty much BLOWS... i hate bills and all that crap but its life. It's made me open my eyes ALOT... I'm finding me and im realizing how independent i am.
I still don't have someone to give my heart to, but i'm okay with that for the time being... i guess i have someone in mind but nothing will tell but time; or the future ( which ever you prefer ) i've just come through one of the roughest patches in my life yet and i did it alone and this has made me realize you don't need anyone holding your hand and pushing you in any situation... yeah its nice but you will survive without. i'm happy for the most part and i love who i have become... i hate that i have lost alot of people in my life but what can ya do? i can't force anyone to come around or answer my calls. People change is it's apart of life.
sooooo i figured out what i want to do about my tattoo, Jordy moved to SC and isn't comming back SOOO im fucked in that aspect... i found someone named Jay Reel who i'm going to get to finish my tattoo. The tattoo is going to be dedicated to the city because it made me who i am.. with out it i don't think i would have had the inpiration and motivation i did. It made me open my eyes to a whole new world; of art of people of music of knowledge of experience of culture. its a beautiful place.
im not really sure what else to write sooo yeah..
bye.
I still don't have someone to give my heart to, but i'm okay with that for the time being... i guess i have someone in mind but nothing will tell but time; or the future ( which ever you prefer ) i've just come through one of the roughest patches in my life yet and i did it alone and this has made me realize you don't need anyone holding your hand and pushing you in any situation... yeah its nice but you will survive without. i'm happy for the most part and i love who i have become... i hate that i have lost alot of people in my life but what can ya do? i can't force anyone to come around or answer my calls. People change is it's apart of life.
sooooo i figured out what i want to do about my tattoo, Jordy moved to SC and isn't comming back SOOO im fucked in that aspect... i found someone named Jay Reel who i'm going to get to finish my tattoo. The tattoo is going to be dedicated to the city because it made me who i am.. with out it i don't think i would have had the inpiration and motivation i did. It made me open my eyes to a whole new world; of art of people of music of knowledge of experience of culture. its a beautiful place.
im not really sure what else to write sooo yeah..
bye.
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