Stuck in my head; sticks with you

I'm sorry
I heard about the bad news today
a crowd of people around you
telling you it's ok
and everything happens for a reason

when you lose a part of yourself to somebody you know
it takes a lot to let go
every breath that you remember
pictures fade away, but memory's forever

an empty chair at all the tables
and always seeing you when all my days boil down
but its better where you're going anyway

I'm sorry
I heard about the bad news today
it's really hard to get through
tough times and long days
but it really just depends on the season

for now we'll say good bye
we know it's not the last time
I lost the best part of my day
but its better where you're going anyway

it's weird how certain things and places and people stick with you
i can't get this song out of my head today......

Trace the moment, fall forever

Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current

i won't give up... even if it seems like i am giving up.

to you:

KENNY: you are the most amazing person i have come across to this point in my life. you are an amazing boyfriend and i know im not always the best girlfriend but im learning from my mistakes. i know for a fact that everything i tell you i mean, it comes from my heart not 1/2 heartedly or lies... i mean it. i can't wait to move in with you in january and get our lives on track. im so thankul for all you have done for me and i really hope you understand how much you really so mean to me.

RYAN: yes rycal. you were my bestfriend and im not really sure what happened. im not sure if it's the fact that i don't drink or smoke or party. or it's the fact that i don't see you every day in tech or if it's the fact that you have new friends. but i miss you and i still consider you one of my bestfriends. i just honestly don't think you understand how much you mean to me and how much i miss you. your probably the funniest person to this day i've ever met and you have one of the most amazing families. i need to see you asap.

MIKE/ALEX: i know we used to be mad close im not sure what happened. same as ryan i don't know if it's the whole partying drinking smoking thing. but i wish that would change. i just want you to know that no matter what your too are also one of my bestfriends and i miss you.

KEVIN: i don't really know whats going on with our friendship. you were my only friend and my bestfriend for a long time. ever since the beach i feel like our relationship has gone down hill. god i feel like im talking about a marriage but seriously. i miss you and we were to pretty crazy cats. seriously we need to arrange lunch or something....

GAR: so your life is changing drasticlly and your lost in your own mind. but just know im here for you and ya mean alot to me. and don't think your ever bugging me. i will always have time for my friends when they need it. your a good person you just need to find who you are. and one of these days ima get you to go edge you just wait ! ps. lay off the girls... im kidding :p

MADELINE: girl i love you to peices and the laughing never stops. i wish i could see you more but i understand the situation. just know im here and im not gonna replace you or anything of that sort. keep your head high... but not with drugs. love you :!)

ANG: you like disappeared i guess thats what college does to you. but i miss you and i wanna see you asap. i miss your goofy ass... and i have no idea whats going on in your life on bit which SUCKS. love you girl.

KELLY: all i have to say is WHEN THE FUCK DID WE GET ICE CREAM!? i see you everyday so you know the rest.

ALLY: girl you crazzzzzyyyy. and this whole doing lunch because our classes both end early never worked lol. i miss you and now that you can drive you better get your ass over here some time soon. looooveeee youuuuuuuu hope everythings good.




i just wanted to let you all know that i do love and care about you and im here through thick and thin.
:)

the sky is blue

and my eyes are looking at it in a whole new presepctive.
as i wish some others would.
im happy where i am going and im doing my best to get there.
i can't wait to finally feel good about every solitar thing in my life.
kenny and i are looking into a cupple different places to live. he might be getting a job about 20 mins from ocean city maryland. thats really far from philly but i might be okay with it. its in my head. or we might just live in delaware where he is now... or maybe even closer to me like KOP. its all up in the air, and thats okay. we are figureing other things out first
so kenny and i went pumpkin picking with kelly and peewee yesterday. it was alot of fun. after pumpkin picking kenny and i went to the craft store and thought up / found a brilliant idea. we both want to make our ears bigger so we bought clay and made our own plugs they are actually pretty sweet and they work. im gonna post pictures as soon as we are done making them.
peewee is huge.. shes so looooong. it's cute.
all in all things are going good and everything is good.

my world crumbled

i feel like my whole world just fell on me and is sofficating me.

catch up

this is just a rant and a little catch up on my life.

i just wanna start with talking about a girl named Kelly in my life. She is a year younger then me a whole hell of a lot smarter then me. we met through work. i kinda new her before but not like i do now. shes come to be one of my REALLY good freinds. we talk everyday about the most random shit and we both hate everyone we work with. theres just one thing about her that urks me and kinda hurts. and this isn't me trashing her at all because i don't mind if she reads this because ive told it all to her face many times before. shes an amazing girl and an amazing friend.... but she does drugs... and i guess this goes with my last blog, well kinda shes just a new friend. and 2 days ago was the very first day that she hadn't smoked for 24 hours. and she said it was hard and yesterday was her 2nd day. it just goes to show how hard it can be for someone. i guess in a way she has a bit of an addiction. and it worries me and scares me... because her mind is so brilliant but she could loose everything she has over something SO stupid. i think shes starting to realize after many many little arguments and fights and talks about stuff. i just wish this would happen with other friends.

next in line. things are changing, people are chaning the whole winter depression is coming and it sucks i hate seeing people down and when people get home sick while at college i really wish i had the money to go visit alot of different people. i just want everyone to be happy and quit being sad and fighting. i love the feeling of having old relationships come back months later. i love meeting up with those old friends and just being so happy to see them. christmas and thanksgiving break are coming up. i guess we will see what happens.theres alot of people i miss like ryan mike kevin dan gabby ang ali madeline! gar jordan jill .... shits WEAK!

bleh this blog is boring read my last one.